Friends of Wigner

"So who are the Friends of Wigner?"

Our beliefs are not complicated; they're teaching quantum theory to the grade school children, nowadays, so you should know the mechanics we support ourselves with.

Eons ago, a man named Eugene Wigner developed a thought experiment as an extension to Schrödinger's Cat. The experiment goes that a friend of Wigner performs the Schrödinger's Cat experiment after Wigner leaves the laboratory. When he returns, Wigner learns from his friend the results of the experiment.

We believe that arbitrary consciousness does not result in a wave function's collapse. Nor that each collapse spawns a universe in which each possible outcome was the result - that leads to quantum suicide. Nay, we exist in a participatory universe; we are all one large quantum superposition of all possibilities, waiting for our wave function to collapse.

At the end of time, when intelligent life has collected all of the information in the universe, the Ultimate Observer will appear, to collapse our wave function with the Final Observation. All of the quantum probabilities since the beginning of the universe will solidify.

But that's only part of it. The Ultimate Observer will not simply make an observation, no. The Ultimate Observer will choose which world-line will be the truth. As the Friends of Wigner, our goal is to ensure the Ultimate Observer favors humanity in the final decision. And the only way to do that, my friend, is to send information about humanity forward in time. The Ultimate Observer needs information to select which world-line to collapse the universe into, and without knowledge of humanity, there would be no reason to favor us.

"And that's why you want to turn Jupiter into a black hole?"

Not quite a black hole. Just a singularity in space-time developed with precise parameters to inform the Ultimate Observer about humanity. Black holes may be singularities, but this singularity won't be a black hole. At least, not technically.

Think of it this way: We may be losing the largest planet in the Solar System, but we are also saving humanity throughout all of time and space.

Besides, humanity spreads to other star systems within just a few hundred years. What's one gas giant? It's only worth as a planet is sentimental value.

So cheer up. Once we're through here, all of the trials and tribulations of humanity will be of no consequence, since the Ultimate Observe will wipe them all from history for us with the Final Observation.